Creative is who I am.
It is not just a word or concept, being creative is a way of life, my way of life.
Even as I struggle daily through my cancer recovery, new procedures, needles, blood work, pain and anguish, I still find a way to be creative.
Being creative has allowed me to purge trauma and darkness when I felt I had no other way. It has been my light during those times and given me spark to move forward.
Creative is how I was born. It’s part of my DNA just as much as every other part of my physical body. It defines me and I allow it to do so.
Being creative has kept me alive.
When I paint, create or write, that part of my mind takes over and allows words, ideas, colors and composition to flow from me as if I’m watching from above.
It’s cathartic and comforting.
It’s my church.
It’s me.
Many that aren’t creative have difficulty understanding what all this means. They don’t understand how creative people are just born this way and that most creatives, not all, seek out ways their entire life on how to express that creativity. It’s ok for non-creatives to not understand, but it’s also important that they at least don’t demean. For example, I’ll never forget those supporters in my life that have said, “You can do it!”, and I’ll also never forget those naysayers that felt compelled to call me “arty fartsy”, this second one incredibly demeaning and condescending based upon their own lack of understanding and ignorance about art and creativity.
To be honest, neither comment really controlled my actions or decisions.
It was always my inner creative voice that said, “Try this or do that”, that was my ultimate guide and mentor. Luckily, I listened most of the time and luckily the path that opened up for me was almost always one that allowed me to be creative.
I’m happy that even now, as I approach 60, none of that has changed. In fact, I allow the voice to be even stronger within me as if caught in the grip of a schizophrenic rant about the goodness of being creative.
I live my life here in Chiang Mai spending my days being more creative and productive than I have my entire previous life. Nothing before even remotely comes close.
Now, painting, writing and creating come daily, come freely. No restraints. No corporate identity. No answering to others. None of my ideas taken by others for profit.
Now, I paint for me.
Now, I write for me.
Now, I create for me.
Now, I live life free.
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